Sitting in the doctor's office today, waiting for my exam, I had a moment of panic. Not about the baby. About labor and delivery. Apparently it has not been long enough since William was born to make me forget labor and delivery. And since I do it without an epidural, that's a big deal. Three weeks. THREE WEEKS! I'm not looking forward to this.
At the same time, I have a great body for carrying babies apparently. Except that it has nothing to do with me and I probably should take better care of myself too (pushing 50 pounds gained -- yikes!). But today after my sonogram (I get one with every visit), my doctor made the comment that the baby is looking really good and that he's doing fantastically pre-nataly. His estimated weight is 6 lbs. 7 oz. He moves A LOT and he's breathing. I asked what that last one means -- in the womb babies go through the motions of breathing. It pulls the fluid into their lungs and helps with lung development.
I've never been so grateful in my life for being a fantastic mother ship. Heart problems + premature birth = bad things. Heart problems + under-developed lungs = bad things. Heart problems + normal vaginal delivery = better things. What a blessing to have a body that handles pregnancy well and nurtures healthy babies. What a blessing to not be stressing about premature delivery or be on bed rest or even to have to worry about him being turned. I know that not everyone is able to do pregnancy this well and I'm not trying to be boastful, just grateful for my circumstances.
Granted, that gratitude was missing while I lived with my head in the toilet the first trimester and then some! And I still have my aches and pains of course. But if I could choose right now, I would hold onto him for just a little bit longer before birth. But I can't. And so I'm grateful that so much of this is good.