It Gets Harder

I really thought that things would get easier over time but maybe I've packed too much in at once and done myself in.

Today is the last day of school and I am crying.

Not because I'll have all three home for the summer -- although ask me again in August and yes, that might be the reason.

It was the last time I walked home from school with William AND Abby.  So I'm already crying about Abby going to school too!  It will be just me and William and I'm not sure how to parent without breaking up fights and arguments and maneuvering the wishes and demands of more than one child.  After all, by the time Megan was old enough for all of that, Abby was here too.

What a funny place to be.

In addition, we've removed the crib entirely and William is now sleeping in a regular bed.  Next week I potty-train him.

I know that some of my struggle with all of this stupid growing-up stuff is grief that things are coming to an end so soon when they weren't supposed to.  I think that I will always feel a little bereft that I'm not suffering through one more set of terrible twos, one more first words, one more headed off to kindergarten.  Because amazingly, those first months of having Megan when everything seemed to DRAG are completely gone.  And now it's one big race.  How quickly can they grow up and move on?  Too quickly.

Megan has progressed more in this year than I think I've ever seen.  She is FINALLY bathroom independent and will be a completely silly girl at times.  She still struggles with performing in front of a crowd but has come so far and does it when she has too.  Her reading and writing are phenomenal!  She has had A honor roll ALL year.  She has gained a lot of confidence in herself but we still have a long way to go.  We've struggled this year with a particular "friend" who tears her down so much.  It's really come to a head this last week and I think we will both feel better when summer is here and they are NOT in class together next year (special request by me).

Abby has learned a lot and is primed for kindergarten.  She already knows the school and the teachers so well and is so excited to go.  I imagine that our biggest problem will be the talking!  And the thumb.  I just do NOT know what to do to get her to stop sucking it.  I don't think there is anything that I can do.  She knows most of her letters and numbers and can write her name although it's often with backwards or upside down 'b's.  Next year I anticipate that she will take off  and not look back and I can hardly believe it.  Everyone she encounters loves her and it's because she loves everyone she encounters!!  I will miss so much her cuddles and stories and funny things. Probably not the whining.

William -- well I'm keeping my fingers crossed that potty-training goes well next week (because I'm dreading it) and curious to see what my life looks like with one child - a BOY - the only one at home.  This could be very weird for me.

I'm looking forward to our summer though. I'm looking forward to not getting up in the morning to the sound of an alarm and having to rush and push and yell to get everyone out the door on time and ready for the day.  Im excited to not have homework but to have different responsibilities for the kids and shove some more gospel learning into them to hopefully prepare them for next year.  I'm looking forward to a fluid schedule of activities, playdates, movies, and pool time.  And all of it will be gone in the blink of an eye.